Anticipatomg the future, regrettlng the past.
When I was at high school, I had to prepare myself for entrance exam to university. It was a competitive exam with only the best ones could get permission to best universities in country. We had to learn a lot. I can remember how much I was looking forward to finally finish this exam. Each day I was making plans and dreams for the time “after exam”.
After school, I missed the quality time with my family. The laughter, fun and carelessness with my friends, and even the learning and preparation for the entrance exam.
After I entered university, I had limited available budget to spend, typical for student lifestyle. At that time making money was my big goal. I just wanted to finish studying and start making money to finally be able to afford myself nice stuff.
Now that my student life is over, I miss the possibility that I had to learn and go deep into subjects as a student. I miss the free time that I could use to get to know other people, travel to different places, and make experiences.
I have a job now and earn a modest salary. I can afford small luxury things that I wanted to have. But the most luxury thing that I wish to have more is free time to spend with my family, on hobbies, on traveling, and on learning. Sometimes I dream about days in far future when I do not have to work, and can spend more time on the things that I like.
But then I think about all the nice things I would miss from my current situation. The active years, work, being involved with daily activities and routines, even maybe the difficulties and uncertainties I face today.
It occurred to me that most of my life I have been living in future. But when that future comes, I regret the nice things that I had in the past and are over now. All the time neglecting the present, where the life happens.
I want to change this pattern. Do not want to let the time slip away. I want to experience the life at present with all beautiful moments and inconveniences.